Today I’m a proud, successful woman, but I can’t forget my terrible early days.

Even though my husband is fantastic and my friends are supportive and fun, I’m always sad and scared under the surface.

I lost touch with my father years ago, but my mum is still alive.

She contacts me from time to time, but I can’t have any kind of relationship with her because she was cruel, vicious and vindictive as a younger woman.

I always felt she got pleasure out of making the little me cry.

Once she burned all my toys on a big bonfire when I refused to tell her that I loved her.

I could only have been about five.

The last time we spoke, about nine months ago, I asked her never to contact me again.

But I’ve just had another text asking for money, which has brought all the old hurt flooding back.

I suppose what I’m looking for is closure and peace, but I can’t find it.